


Shut your ears when sirens sing Tie armbands to your feet

by Jackie_Kelly



Series: chimera means hope [1]
Category: Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers
Genre: Angst, Chimera sucks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Owen needs a hug, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-19 09:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20655134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackie_Kelly/pseuds/Jackie_Kelly
Summary: "Falling is like being free for a few precious moments, like being able to hold the one you love close for a night before you have to go back to the real world.  Falling is like thinking that they love you as much as you love them, only to hit the ground and watch them walk away."or:Owen is manipulated by Chimera and Curt needs to save him





	1. Will you live to see tomorrow or die another day?

Most people would say the impact is the worst part, but really, it’s the falling. 

Falling is a horrifying experience.

The feeling of weightlessness knowing that impact was coming. Falling is like being free for a few precious moments, like being able to hold the one you love close for a night before you have to go back to the real world. Falling is like thinking that they love you as much as you love them, only to hit the ground and watch them walk away. 

Owen knew he was dying. A fall like that is not one you come back from. He also knew that even if he could survive his no doubt countless fractures, and the accompanying internal bleeding, he would not survive the upcoming explosion. 

It would be so easy to blame Curt. It was his recklessness that had led to Owen laying on the ground watching enemy agents swarm around trying to escape. Watching as Curt ran out of the facility. But in the end, they were both reckless. Egging each other on during missions to beat old records, just to see that pure adrenaline high in the other’s eyes. Yes, it would be easy to blame Curt, but it takes two to tango. 

Owen saw the building collapsing before he heard the explosion. Then he felt the heat, the horrible crushing heat… then he knew no more.  
🂫 🂫 🂫  
Waking up when one believes they are dead is an odd sensation to say the least. The senses come back slowly at first, then in a rush. It was like panic, like a fight or flight response at night where all that exists are noises and shadows. It took time, but eventually the shadows became people and the noises became voices, then words. 

Once he was able to make out the shapes as people and the sounds as words, Owen realized there were three people in the room with him, two men and one woman. The woman and one of the men were wearing lab coats, while the other man was wearing a royal blue suit. 

The man in the suit was the one talking, and with a little focus, Owen was able to discern that the man was saying, “Mr. Carvour,” over and over again. That was when Owen really started to panic. He knew every operative in both MI6 and the CIA, and he didn’t know this man. That meant that Owen was compromised. He tried his best to find any clues as to who this man was associated with, he was above average height, well built, with short brown hair. He also seemed to have a Cockney accent, but that wasn’t a judgement Owen wanted to make on two words. 

The man seemed to notice a change in Owen’s behavior. He immediately straightened up and adopted an air of even greater importance, which Owen didn’t even know was possible, “Agent Carvour, nice to see that you are finally awake. We have a lot to talk about.” 

“Who the fuck are you, and how do you know my name” Owen replied, trying to channel his inner Curt as much as possible. 

“You can call me the Deadliest Man Alive. As to how we know who you are, we are Chimera, it’s our job to know.”


	2. Be the Jury and the Judge

After being briefed by the Deadliest Man Alive, Owen was basically left to his own devices. He went through extensive PT and was going to be able to walk without crutches in the next few days. During that time he was told to think about the DMA’s offer, a new identity to work for Chimera. Owen wasn’t sure what would happen if he refused the offer, but no matter what he was going to escape as soon as he could to get back to Curt. 

It was when Owen was being reevaluated by the doctor that the DMA finally made his reappearance. Once again, he was wearing a blue suit, Owen wondered if he owned any other suits, or if Owen merited a special one. The DMA sat at a chair next to the bed Owen was in, he seemed somehow to look more serious than usual and he had a file folder in his hands marked top secret. 

“Agent Carvour, good to see that you have almost healed. We were concerned for a little bit, looks like they weren’t lying when they said you were a fighter.” DMA commented. 

“Thank you, sir.” Owen responded. DMA placed the file folder on Owen’s lap, “This is for you, I wanted to wait until you were a little stronger to give you this information.” Owen slowly opened the folder and tried to make sense of what he was seeing. 

“You probably have been wondering how we knew where you were. We had received intelligence that there was a conspiracy against a British agent, so we did a little more research. Turns out the Americans and the British wanted you out of the way. They had assigned their top Agent, Curt Mega, to take you out. The whole operation was a sham. You will see in the folder payments by MI6 to the men you were fighting at the compound.” 

“Why, they had no reason to want me dead?” 

“Ah, yes, well they knew your secret, it was why you were paired up with Curt in the first place, he was supposed to see if you were seducible.” Owen shook his head in disbelief. That wasn’t possible, the people at the agency were his friends and his coworkers, and Curt loved him. This wasn’t possible. “I know this will take some time to get used to, so I’ll let you be for now. Don’t forget my offer.”   
🂫 🂫 🂫  
Owen quietly snuck down the hallway of the compound. He had to get out of here. He had to get to Curt. Curt would never forgive himself for what had happened. Sneaking out had been embarrassingly easy. Really though, Owen had never shown any signs of wanting to leave so that might be a contributing factor. 

Once he was out of the compound, Owen immediately made contact with Arthur, another MI6 agent that Owen knew operated in Russia. He was to meet him in a warehouse 6 miles away from the Chimera compound. Hopefully then Owen would be able to take a bit of a leave in America to speak to Curt.   
🂫 🂫 🂫  
By the time that Owen got to the warehouse the first rays of sunshine were starting to peak over the tops of buildings. He quickly went in. As he walked in, he was roughly grabbed from behind. He tried to fight back, but even after all the time that had passed, he was still weak from his ordeal. All that he could do was weakly struggle as he was wrestled into a chair and handcuffed to it. 

His attacker came into the light and Owen realized that it was Arthur, “How did you survive? Huh? You go missing for six months and we can finally rest easy in the knowledge that you're gone, but no, you’re still alive.” Owen was too busy trying to wrap his head around what was happening to respond. 

“No need to worry Owen, I’ll make sure you’re really taken care of this time.” 

“Why, why are you doing this? What did I do to deserve this, we were friends?” 

“Well,” Arthur started as he grabbed something from a table that Owen had failed to notice before, “Not only are you a fucking queer, your heart was never in the spy business, you would have betrayed us eventually. You and your morals. The Americans didn’t see it as much, but we had enough evidence to get them to agree to the mission. You were committing treason to get yourself out of the spy trade. You would have sold all the secrets in the world to stay with Curt Mega wouldn’t you? Too bad Mega was just playing you.” 

Arthur then roughly grabbed his chin and forced his mouth open. He roughly pulled out a tooth, and sat what Owen had figured out were pliers back on the table, “A souvenir, for outdoing the great Curt Mega.” Owen shut down, Arthur was truly betraying him, Chimera had told him the truth. Owen continued to stare at the wall, punch after punch. Eventually, Arthur seemed to tire of that and drew a chain from a bag on the table. 

Owen never thought he would die by the hands of someone he considered a friend. 

Then again, he never thought he would die by the hands of someone he considered a lover either. 

Suddenly, the DMA burst in and shot Arthur. Stalking over to Owen, he untied him and roughly hauled him to his feet. “What the hell Carvour!? Did you think that we were lying to you? He would have killed you. Lucky for you we ain’t ever letting you die.”


	3. The Coldest Goodbye

After realizing he had really and truly lost everything, Owen officially agreed to join Chimera. It sweetened the pot to realize that Chimera’s endgame, the destruction of everything Curt said he stood for, would allow him to destroy Mega’s life. It also allowed him use of Chimera’s resources to verify everything they said and plan his endgame. 

The only thing that Owen was expected to do was research, at least for the time being. He had discovered that the nephew of Hitler had invented technology that would make the Chimera’s end goal easier to achieve. He had also discovered that some land in New Prussia had a large collection of silicone. Reporting all of the information he had discovered allowed DMA to begin to manipulate Von Nazi and start the end of the spy world as they knew it. 

He didn’t report somethings to Chimera though. His network that reported on Mega. Mega who brought girl after girl home because he had never loved Owen. 

Three years into Owen’s employ was when the head of Chimera came to him and told him that the DMA had died on assignment. It was then that he was finally offered a chance to get back into the field. He was to take on the identity of the DMA, which unfortunately would require a full head mask, but no matter, Owen would finally be able to take a more hands on approach to his revenge. 

🂫 🂫 🂫  
First day on the job and he sees Mega, a man he had believed to be retired. Of course it would be Mega that would have to come back. It would be Mega that would twist his head and keep him from finishing a very easy job. If that Russian bitch hadn’t been working for the Von Nazi, which would have been nice to know thank you very much, the mission would have been well and truly a failure. 

The second time Owen saw Mega was so very satisfying. To see him flinch as he was tortured in the same way Owen had been tortured. Before Mega had betrayed him, the disguised torture had always been more playful than painful, but now he relished in every unmasked flinch and sound that escaped Mega. He had been was so close to being satisfied in his revenge and wouldn’t you know it, the Russian bitch is saving Mega’s fucking life.  
🂫 🂫 🂫  
Owen knew that his revenge was close. Seeing Mega and Tatianna and Susan burst in to save the day. The look on Mega’s stupid face as Susan died. He wasn’t sure how exactly he felt about Mega chasing him, but this, this would be his final revenge. 

Later, when he looked back, he would remember very little of his and Mega’s conversation, Mega still trying to pretend to be a hero. All he remembered was looking into Curt’s eyes and seeing stone cold resolve as he pulled the trigger to end the job, the job he thought was complete four years ago. 

He would remember that, and the voice of the DMA saying, “I told you, we ain’t ever letting you die.” As hands grabbed him to secure him to a stretcher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was super short. I have this idea in my head that Owen was really out of it during his whole revenge scheme because he was blinded by hate and anger. Also, really didn't want to rehash the whole musical. The next chapter should be significantly longer.


	4. Spies Never Die

Everything was finally starting to hit Curt. Deep down he realized that he had killed someone he had once genuinely loved. Someone he had already mourned. Someone who’s broken body had haunted his dreams for so long before. 

The worst part was that Curt hadn’t even gotten to properly bury Owen. By the time the CIA clean up team had arrived to clean up Owen’s body, it had been gone. They assumed that Chimera was trying to cover all its bases. So they had buried an empty coffin. 

An empty coffin in an unmarked grave. That’s all that was left of the former love of Curt’s life. 

If he was being honest though, Owen would never stop being the love of his life. Even seeing the ghost of the person Owen had become. Curt couldn’t help but believe, even as painful as this belief was, that the real Owen had been there deep down at the end. Owen had made it too easy, telling them how to find Chimera compounds, telling Curt that there was more than one. 

Cynthia was sure that with cooperation from MI6, Chimera could be wiped out in a couple of months. She had demanded that Curt take some leave though after a few missions. He was getting sloppy, making mistakes. Curt wondered if she knew the truth about him and Owen, but suspecting and knowing on her part could mean the difference between life and death for Curt so he wasn’t going to say anything if she didn’t.  
Curt had decided that he would spend his leave at his mom’s house. It was times like this that he needed her most. Tatiana was also going to stay there for a few days, then she would be sent out to find and shut down as many Chimera bases as they could find. 

He had no proof, but Curt knew in his heart that Chimera was what had twisted Owen into the angry shell of a man that Curt had been forced to shoot. 

Curt didn’t get to his mom’s house until about three in the morning. Exhausted mentally and emotionally he shuffled straight to his room, dropped his bag, and flopped on his bed. He was out before his feet were fully off the ground.  
🂫 🂫 🂫  
Curt woke up in a cold sweat, the sun beaming down onto his face. He couldn’t remember the nightmare more than in impressions, but the face of Owen fear and betrayal plain on his face as he realized Curt was really going to shoot him. 

What stuck out most though, before all else was the clear look of resignation in Owen’s eyes as if he expected nothing more than for Curt to shoot him in cold blood. 

Like Owen had lost hope in Curt long before Curt could no longer find hope in Owen. 

It was probably the thought of Owen that had caused Curt to miss one very important detail when he had jolted awake. The sun was already up, but there was no mom coming in to bother him and no sounds of cooking. His bag, which he distinctly remembered being too tired to put away the night before also was not where it had been. 

All of this was unusual, one because Curt’s mom was many things, and quiet was not one of them. Second, would also never have come into his room and put his bag away and let him stay asleep half off the bed with shoes still on. 

Something was very wrong. 

Quickly stalking to the kitchen Curt grabbed a carving knife, then crept down the hallway to his mom’s room. Peeking through the crack in the door he saw her unconscious and tied to a chair. 

This was impossible, only two people in the world knew where this safe house was, and one of them was dead, and the other wasn’t expected for another day and definitely would not have knocked out and tied up his mom. His shock could be used to excuse his reaction time as he was half a second too late turning around as the intruder came behind him and knocked him out. 

The last thing he heard was , “Night, love” as his vision faded to black. 

🂫 🂫 🂫  
Curt woke up tied to a chair in the living room with a pounding headache. Looking around he saw a figure hunched over on the couch and heard the figure muttering to himself. 

“Hey, you, what the hell, what’s the meaning of this! I’ll have you know that there are people expecting me, and my agency knows where I am, and they’ll come murder your ass.” Ok so not the wittiest thing Curt could have come up with, the false vibrato would hopefully make up for it. 

“Ah, ah, but you see l-love, they don’t. You’re much to prote-tective of your mother.” 

Curt was suddenly faced with the image of Owen Carvour, with many more bruises and an eyepatch, but most definitely Owen. Owen who was apparently much more alive than he should be.


	5. Remember, Remember

Owen stalked around the chair that Curt was tied to. He had Curt’s gun in his hand, and he kept muttering to himself as he paced back and forth. 

“Owen, old boy, how are you alive?” Curt knew he should be trying to talk the other man down, he was obviously unhinged and dangerous, but he had to know.

“Don’t!” Owen shouted lifting the gun in a tremoring hand, “They w-won’t l-l-l-l-le-le, fuck, fuck, this is your fault. Your f-f-fault.” Owen quickly lowered the gun and went back to his frantic pacing. Curt needed to keep pushing him, needed to know what was happening. He also needed to keep Owen distracted from his mom until Tatiana showed up. 

“Who won’t let you what, Owen baby, what happened to you?” Curt tried so hard to sound soothing and loving. Using the voice he only used with Owen after a particularly hard mission, when Owen was haunted by sights and sounds and couldn’t sleep. 

“No, you don’t get to call me that. You lost that right when you t-tricked me. Chimera won’t let me die. Never, they said. N-never ever. All anyone wants to do is manipulate me. Use m-me.” Owen’s voice cracked on the last sentence, and he stalked up to Curt and put the gun against his forehead. Curt fought against the instinct to close his eyes and took in Owen. He was skinny, unhealthy skinny, and he had so many fresh bruises. On top of that the consistent stammer and tremors, which were probably caused by Curt shooting him in the head, worried Curt. 

It was then that Curt made out a shadow moving behind Owen. Thank God for that Russian. Tatiana swiftly came up behind Owen, disarmed him, and knocked him out. After securing him to the leg of the couch Tatiana went around and untied Curt. 

“How do you want to handle this?” Tatiana asked him soothingly, hand coming up to rest on his arm. 

“Take my mom out of here and someplace safe. I need to know what happened to him.” The implied “and if he is still in there, if he’s still the Owen I knew” went unsaid. Tatiana just nodded and made swift work of grabbing Curt’s mom and leaving. That’s what Curt loved about her; she didn’t have to agree to understand.   
🂫 🂫 🂫  
Curt had about 15 minutes from the time Tatiana left to the time that Owen woke up. By the time he noticed Owen stirring, he had stopped pacing and was sitting in a kitchen chair facing Owen on the floor with his gun in his hand. 

Once Owen fully awoke, Curt sat there quietly as he shifted into a better position at the base of the couch and glared at Curt, “What are you waiting for! Finish the job!” 

“I need information first, Ow - Carvour, about you and your involvement with Chimera. How did you start working with them?” Owen just stared blankly at Curt, probably he had noticed Curt’s mess up with his name, “Look Carvour, this can be easy or hard, just tell me. What’s the real harm at this point?” 

“Fine. I started working for Chimera after you tried to k-k-k-kill me. They saved me, then they s-saved me again from Arthur.” Owen’s voice was steadily rising, and he seemed to be on a roll, “They t-told me the truth about you Agent M-mega. How y-you tricked me, used me. How long did it t-take them to convince you to m-murder me! How much did they give you to pretend to g-grieve. Did you also know about me selling the secrets, or were you glad to get rid of the d-d-dirty queer!” 

Curt just stared at Owen. He had sweat streaming down his forehead, and he was crying. Curt didn’t know what to do about the obviously brainwashed man in front of him. Also, during the course of his monologue, Owen had been tugging on the handcuff holding him to the couch, and now his wrist were bleeding. That at least, Curt knew how to deal with. He stood up to get the first aid kit. 

He pretended to not notice Owen flinching when he stood up. 

After grabbing the first aid kit, Curt slowly walked towards Owen and knelt in front of him. Allowing himself to cup Owen’s face for a half second, Curt started to gently bandage Owen’s wrist. He had also grabbed something else when he had gotten the first aid kit, and once he finished with Owen’s wrists he sat back on his heels and showed it to Owen. 

It was a compass, inside of which was pressed a red tulip. “Do you remember the day you gave this to me? This is from the day that I fell in love with you, I don’t know what they told you Owen, baby, but I love you and I have always loved you, and I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. We will make it through this.” Curt then cupped the back of Owen’s neck and pulled their foreheads together. He felt more than heard Owen’s accompanying sobs.   
🂫 🂫 🂫

Curt had done some research on Chimera after that fateful night. While he had found that a Chimera is a fearsome hybrid beast, he also found that it was something that you hoped for but was unattainable. A chimera was an unrealizable dream. 

Curt just hoped that getting Owen back, finding the man he used to be, didn’t prove to be the most fearsome chimera of all.


End file.
